Finding Myself In You
by Poopsi17
Summary: Leah finds herself feeling worthless at the end of the Volturi non battle. Jacob being the kind Alpha he is sets Leah free, only if she promises to keep in contact. Letting Seth find himself finishing school and Leah off to a new start many states away Leah is drug back to La 'Push when heartbreaking news is threw upon her.
1. Let It Go

_I do not own Twilight... If I did.. Well you guys are reading to see what Id change anyway right?! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Shout out to my beta and friend AStory2tell _

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I watch the retreating bodies and my heart starts working again. I turn my head toward my brother and give him a big, wolfy smile. I could feel relief flooding through me and I knew Sam's pack was feeling the same thing. Jacob licks my face and bumps his shoulder against Seth's. He greets Embry and Quil with a friendly knock to their shoulders, too.

_Guys, I think this will be the one and only time I say I'm happy we didn't fight vampires today, _says Jacob, feeling ecstatic about not losing a life today.

_Oh, I definitely know this is my one and only time, _growls Quil.I snort out a laugh. _ I can't wait to go hug my Claire-bear! _

Jacob lets out a barking laughter as he pads along; we had started back toward the Cullen's now. _Everybody take the day off! Go home to your parents and to Miss Princess Claire! I know we all said our goodbyes today. _Jacob momentarily loses the thought and memories of his family's sobbing faces are broadcast to us. He quickly shakes his head, clearing away the memory and continues. _I'm so glad to say I haven't lost anyone today. I love each and every one of you. _He looks us all in our eyes. _Let's all meet up at Sue's for breakfast tomorrow morning. _

_Wait. Does mom know about this? _Seth asks, completely serious.

_We haven't been over to your mom's in weeks with the training going on. Our only time was right before the fight; we all said our simple goodbyes just in case. I think she'd be more than happy to have us eating her out of a home again_, answered Embry.

Embry had a point. I couldn't wait to get home. I knew as soon as I got home it was going to be a crying fest between mom, myself, and Seth. Seth would eventually maneuver himself away and leave mom and me alone. She makes me soft! Or, maybe I'm just myself around my mother. She always did know how to look past my more rough-around-the-edges masks.

I look over at Seth and see him thinking about Mom.

About Dad.

_Dad would be so proud of you. _I say, walking over to Seth and leaning against him.

_You too, Leah, _he says and then nips my ear. _Don't go soft on me now._

_Me? Never, _I huff.

Jacob rolled his eyes at us and barks, _Like I said, go home to your loved ones. We'll meet at the Clearwater's for breakfast, and then head over to Sam's to see the rest of our brothers. _

We all ran off after that and for once I didn't complain about going over to Sam's. Two days ago I had given Emily my goodbyes and told her that I had forgiven her.

_**~Flashback~**_

"I have to do this Jacob. I love her."

"I know. Come on let's see if we can catch Sam out here." Jacob says and puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me to the border separating the Black Pack and the Cullens from the Uley Pack and the rest of the reservation.

We reach the border and Jared comes around a tree as a large wolf. He spots us and disappears back into the forest to change forms. We wait a moment until he emerges, still pulling pants up and around his waist.

"How many times do we have to say you can come over any time? You don't have to wait for permission?" Jared scolds us—or at least tries to.

Jacob chuckles and nods his head, agreeing. "Yeah, I know, but it's just a formality. Anyway, is Sam out? I .." he looks over at me, "_We _need to talk to him."

Jared scratches his head and stares at Jacob's arm around me. I notice and try to pull away, but he holds on and looks down at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Um. You're not here to tell him you and Leah are...you know…together?" he asks.

"Sam, please." says Jacob, ignoring the question and keeping his arm around me.

"Right." Jared moves back into the trees to save his modesty and his shorts as he phases, disappearing to tell Sam that we're waiting for him.

Sam shows up a couple of minutes later. Jacob and I are arguing about him not letting me go. He still hasn't let me go.

"Come on, Leah. It's just comfort. I'm comforting you." Jacob is determined to drive me crazy. He's squeezing me a little too tightly.

"Jake, you're hurting me." I say, glaring at him.

"You'll heal."

Sam interrupts us before I can reply. "Jacob. Leah. What can I do for you? We were just setting out the duties to be done when the vampires come."

"Good, good. How is that going?" Jacob makes small talk and I pinch him. "Right. Anyways, Leah just wanted to ask you something."

"I…uh…I want to talk to Em… Before the fight." I say looking down at the ground. It felt weird asking for permission to speak to my cousin. But the way I've acted since they both left me…Well, I knew why Jacob suggested we run it by Sam first.

He just nods his head in understanding. "She'll be happy to see you again." He has a confused look in his eyes when he looks over Jacob and me. I just roll my eyes. Jacob still hasn't let me go. "I'll go tell her to prepare for you."

I just nod my head and watch as he phases to go to Emily. When he's gone, Jacob and I walk in silence toward Emily's home. We're about ten minutes from her house when I stop walking and turn to Jacob.

"I've got it from here." I needed to collect my thoughts a little more before I see Emily.

"You sure you don't want to part off a little closer?" Questions my oh-so-hovering Alpha.

"No. I need a little me time before I get there."

"Ok. I'll be here when you get out." I just nod my head and keep walking.

_What was I going to say to Emily?_ We hadn't had a real conversation since before Sam had even imprinted on her. I hadn't even seen or spoken to her since I left to join Jacob's pack, but I still felt the need to say my goodbyes to her. If I died on that battlefield, I wanted her to know that I loved her, that I forgave her and that I would fight for her to make sure Sam came back home.

I see her little cottage break into view. I take a deep breath_. I can do this_. I stop at the stairs before walking onto the porch and knock. I hear Emily take a deep breath and know that she is just as nervous as I am. She opens the door and her smile just radiates all over her. She's almost glowing.

"Hey Em." I offer a little awkwardly. She pauses for just a moment before giving me a quick hug and releasing me just as fast.

"Sorry! I just haven't seen you in what seems like years…." she says and pushes me inside.

"It's ok."

I look around the home. Nothing has changed really, but something about it seems more lived in than the last time I'd been there. She sits down on one of the couches and I sit opposite her in another.

"So. I don't really know how to say this the right way so I'm just going to go for it."

She nods her head and leans her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands.

"In a few days, we'll be fighting a very powerful coven of vampires." She nods her head again. "It may be my last chance to tell you that I do forgive you." Her eyes go wide and she sits up straight. I see the tears forming in her eyes so I rush out what I have left to say. "I love you Em and I forgive you and Sam. Being in Jacob's pack has giving me space to think everything through and not having to listen to Sam in my head has been a plus. I love you and Sam and I'm glad you have each other. If it gets bad out there I want you to know that I will fight 'til my last breath to have Sam come home to you."

Emily has tears streaming down her face as she nods along to what I've said. She jumps up as I finish and does what I figure she's been wanting to do since I started. She hugs me. She sobs out loud. She tells me thank you in-between breaths. Her head is buried in my neck and she's gripping me so tightly that my head is forced down against her shoulder. I finally let a few tears slip and the knot in my throat goes away. Emily pulls away and grabs some Kleenex's that I think she put out before I came. She knew tears would be involved.

"Leah, you have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that. To know that you don't—" she hiccups before continuing"—hate me and that you don't hate us. I can't even explain to you…"

She looks down and then places my hands on her stomach. I looked up in her eyes and realize where exactly the glow I'd seen earlier was coming from. I choke on a sob.

"We found out last week. I don't want you to just bring Sam home to me. I want you to bring everyone home. Bring our family home. Because this baby isn't going to be raised right if the pack isn't here with it."

I nod and pulled Emily to me again and let the tears flow out. I stayed there for another hour or so before calling it a night, our tears completely spent. Sam was waiting to come home, giving us our private time. By the end of it all, we were laughing and joking around, proving to me just how much I'd missed her.

I walk back towards the Cullen's. I pass the spot I'd left Jacob at earlier and let out a sigh when I noticed he'd left.

"What are you sighing about?" Jacob says climbing off of a boulder tucked away out of sight. He puts his arm around me again and looks down, frowning. "Hey. You were crying? You ok?" He stops us and turns me to him.

I look at him and smile. "I'm fine. Just where I need to be." I wrap my arm around his torso and he replaces his around my shoulders and we head home.

_~End Of Flashback~_

Seth and I sit on the porch of our house looking at each other, knowing that when we walk in the house, we would be filled with hugs and tears. After a moment, I get up and open the door. We walk in to see Mom and Billy staring at a television that wasn't even on, it's screen dark and desolate. Mom looks over in surprise and sees us. There's a second of silence and then she bursts out crying and flings herself on us.

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A/N So tell me how you guys are feeling with the story? Huge shout out to my friend and Beta AStory2Tell! we've been brainstorming this idea together for the most part, she's given really good feedback and ideas! Go Review and tell me what you like, don't like, and what you want to see happen!

xoxo Alexandria


	2. Your the one Or so its told

The following weeks came with ease, and a hint of frustration. Most of the wolf's didn't notice it. Somehow being busy with a new imprint didn't distract Jacob enough. He knew. He always knew. And keeping it from him was becoming hard. Not that I was really even hiding anything significant. I just didn't feel like myself anymore. I felt like a normal kid in the special Ed classroom. I needed more. I had learned all I could and needed more.

I needed to talk to someone about this. Who better to talk to then your mom. And two of the other council leaders.

"I don't know. I just, I don't feel like I'm needed here anymore. The Packs have more than enough wolves to protect the tribe, and honestly after the Volturi I don't think vampires even want to come to the northwestern states."

"But baby why do you want to leave? Where will you go? I can't.. We can't give you money to go to live. If you stayed here we could get you your own house for free. Fix it up, You'd only have to pay bills. We feed you already. Just, Help me help you. If you stay I can help you." My mother said laying a hand on my knee. I held her hands and in mine and looked solely at her when I spoke.

"You did all you could do for me, Now its time to see what I can do for me. I appreciate everything done for me but I just don't feel like I belong anymore. This is my home and always will be, But the boys will imprint and stop phasing. They will grow old and die and i'll be stuck running the town with Jareds' great-grandchildren. I just want to go explore a little before my Godsend destiny is set in stone."

"Leah, It's not fact that you wont imprint. maybe" I cut my mom short but squeezing her hand and shaking my head. "Ok." She finally complied.

I looked at Old Quil and Billy for their answer. They looked at each other then back at me. "Give us two hours time. When you come back we will have the answer you seek." Old Quil spoke. I nodded my head and gave a small smile as I left Old Quil's house. It's the only house I didn't have to worry about wolves walking in and hearing us. Quil was with Claire for the weekend babysitting while her mother went to the Makkah res.

I walked off feeling a small sense of hope. Even if the answer was yes, the only one that could let me go would be Jacob. His answer was definite. With the councils answer it just made my argument better. It would let Jake know It wasnt just me who thought this was a good Idea.

_~Meanwhile at the bat cave... I mean Old Quil's house ~_

"Sue, it would bring them together. We all know absence makes the heart grow fonder." Billy Black says to Sue.

"This is not Date a Wolf dot-com. We are not a dating service. My daughter wants to leave to find herself. Not to make Jacob realize shes his mate." Sue huffs.

"No but its destiny for them to be together. You know that!" Old Quil exclaims towards Sue.

"Well Jesus Quil let's go push them in each others lap why don't we? I thought we couldn't have a hand in any of the relations of the packs destiny?" Snapped an angry Sue.

"We know she's just running because Emily is pregnant. She doesn't want to be around her when she thinks she can't bear children."

She slowly turns her head towards Billy and narrows her eyes. "My daughter is not running. Lets make that clear now. Of course she doesn't want to be around now, Can you blame her? She has given them her blessing and now she wants to go out and explore."

"We aren't blaming anyone Sue, Just stating facts. Fact is if we told Leah about her prophecy would she stay? Yes. If we told her that we know who all the wolves will imprint on would she listen? Yes. If we told her that her and Jacob will be the saving of us will she belive me? No, because she's your daughter and she's stubborn as a mule." Old Quil finishes up laughing.

"Right. She is my daughter and her first question is going to be why didn't anyone stop her from dating Sam if we all knew and second why did Jacob imprint on a halfy when it doesn't show that in the prophecy?" Crossing her hands over her chest she feels as if she just won her own battle.

Billy takes his face in his hands and rubs his temples then his eyes. "You know Harry did everything in his power to break them up. He pulled a gun on Sam but Leah insisted Harry was just being a father and didnt mean it. You know we tried to separate them, We even put them on different schedules in school, they still found ways." Billy lets out a loud sigh then continues. "As for _Renesme _I don't trust those leeches, I don't care how my son feels, he's wrong. I think they put a spell on him." He says in all seriousness.

"Billy they are _Vampires _not _Witches._"

"Yes but" Old Quil started shaking his long pointy finger in the air and started smiling. "But the vampires already have whatever you want to call it that attracts humans to them, to make it easier for them to feed I suppose. But the little demon child is different. Shes more powerful but also weaker than the vampires. Whose to say her attracting-ness isn't more powerful? She blends in better and people like her more. Honestly they are all attached to the mutant about the same as Jacob. Anyone that comes in contact with her loves her instantly, you know if they don't know what she's made of. Or in Jacob and Seth's case if they know and don't care."

Sue rolls her eyes. "You guys are going to be pulling shit out of your ass for the next hour aren't you? Anything to make me say yes? I'm saying yes for my daughter. Not for the tribe and not for Jacob. Understand that."

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Walking the streets of La' Push smiling from ear to ear I bet everyone was looking at me crazy. But I didn't care. Not today. Moments ago I got my answer from the council and even though they were all acting weird and my mother was rolling her eyes the whole time Billy spoke to me I didn't ask any questions. Although I was warned that Jacob might not take it to well. I had to tread carefully with him if I really wanted to leave. I however didn't feel that way about it. I knew Jacob would have strong feelings for me leaving but only because he's an idiot that doesn't know how to run anything on his own. Convincing him that he would live just fine without me always telling him which side was up is going to be the hard part.

I walk up to the Cullen's house and lightly tap on the door. It quickly opens with little Alice standing behind it. "Bout time you showed up, we've been expecting you." She says as she smiles and pulls me inside. Almost everyone is in the living room. Except Carlisle and Bella but I remember mom saying her and Charlie are having a day to themselves to work on some stuff. I hope she doesn't kill him...

"Ummmm I thought you couldn't see us?" I ask with obvious confusion upon my face.

Jacob rolls his eyes across the room and answers me, "She apparently can see some kind of _stuff _around her blank future when we come around now." Jacob flings his hands around in the air trying to explain.

"Aura. It's like an aura around when you show up in my vision. Of course I can't see you still but it's getting a little better. It's not completely blank anymore. More like fuzzy." I put my hand on my hip wanting her to explain that nonsense to me. "Oh right. When Kate was teaching Bella about expanding her talents Edward asked about mine. Hypothetically Kate said I should be able to see you wolves. It's just easier for me to see vampires and humans because I was both but for me to be able to see you guys I ned to focus, try and practice. As long as I practice the easier it will come just like how Bella can throw her shield better now. But that is a hypothetical. But so far its been a little better. The slightest things have made me want to try harder!" Alice almost picks me up with excitement. I don't know when her hands got around me but I smacked her arm a couple of times to let her know that I was not feeling this.

"Right," I turn to Jacob remembering that im not really here for a social visit. "Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah" He jumps up and squeezes Nessie's hand. We walk outside and sit on the porch. "Whats up?"

I take a deep breath. I turn and look in his eyes as I say, "I don't want to be here anymore Jake."

**A/N** **Soooo how'd you guys like that? Comment tell me what you think of the prophecy and about Alice. Review review review !**

**!Answering Reviews!**

**MariaOne: **_You are doing better than most, it is good and the story seems like it is going somewhere. I never felt like Leah owed Sam/Emily anything and they should have said something like "we need to talk". _

**Me:** _I don't feel like Leah owes her anything, I think Leah owes it to her self to let go. Im glad you are enjoying it and hope you continue!_

**ShadowCub:** _See this is what pisses me off Leah making nice with everyone, Emily took her man! And Leah once again being the doormat._

**Me: **_I don't ever want Leah to look like a doormat. I write Leah fanfic because of the fact I see her as strong. Like I said previously I just think its time to let go for herself so that when she does move on ( And she will ) That who she moves on with wont think of her as still wanting him. She is saying her goodbyes, she did think she was going to die. You tend to mend bridges in that kind of setting. I hope you do continue reading and know that Leah will never be the doormat in my fanfic! _


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